important things to remember
- if someone doesn’t reply to your message they are probably busy, not ignoring you
- just because someone doesn’t message you first, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you
- if someone seems upset or distant they probably aren’t upset at you in particular
- lots of people love you and you’re not annoying
Can someone find me a place to live please? This isn’t just exhausting, it’s sending my anxiety levels through the roof and distracting me from the shit I should be doing (i.e. not failing my last semester of uni).
I was tagged by sarahsoph to do this ‘six facts’ thing which I think is just you say six facts about yourself? IDK. I figure she wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t want to actually know shit about me, so here goes (yeah this is for you Sophie)
1. I have never lived more than a half-hour walk from the centre of my city. I realised this today after boyf and I went to look at a place in Kingston (effectively a satellite suburb 15km from the city centre). The house was lovely but I’m not sure how I would deal with being a twelve-minute drive from everything I care about. (I know that sounds like a joke but I really value having everything in my life a twenty-minute walk from my house. Call it the Hobart mentality.)
2. I have a bookshelf full of books that I haven’t read yet. Every time I look at it I feel guilty. I used to love reading but now I’m so terrible at it - I tend to get distracted after only a few minutes. I think spending so much time on the internet/my smartphone has affected me.
3. One of the things I hate most about living in rental properties is not being able to have a dog. I love dogs. Every time I see a picture of a puppy on the internet I start squealing. I have a pet rabbit at the moment and he’s gorgeous, but it’s just not quite the same. Pups are so cute when they get all excited cos you’ve come home and they just jump all over you. And their lil floppy ears, oh man.
4. I’m currently in my last semester of a five-year university degree (Arts/Law) (which will have taken me six years by the time I’m finished) and graduating terrifies me. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get a job, and that I didn’t try hard enough during uni to pack my resume with internships and work experience and volunteering, etc etc. I don’t want to be unemployed, but I also kind of don’t want to keep being a student (much as I’m sure Arts Honours would be thrilling).
5. I used to write quite a lot (blogging, emails, journal, short stories; even the occasional poem) but now I write barely at all outside of uni work. I tell myself it’s because I’m busy being focused on uni but I think its more complex than that. Blogging frustrates me because I’m thin-skinned and I tend to get very upset when people criticise/critique my writing (even if they’re just shitty trolls). I feel like my inspiration dried up and I don’t know why. Sometimes I think maybe it’s because I’m too happy, or too comfortable with my life at the moment. idk.
6. Sometimes my daydreams involve speculation about why boyf and I might break up in the future. Not in like a weird masochistic or fatalistic way (‘oh lord this relationship is doomed because he will never stop leaving his dirty socks on the bathroom floor’) but just kind of in that idle way of ‘this relationship seems so wonderful and perfect at the moment, I wonder what will be its eventual undoing’.
"And although it will cost the ministry more money to have more textbooks in braille and in larger print, “the cost does not matter because there is a need”, the official said."
An interesting quote from an article on braille and large print textbooks in Trinidad and Tobago. A lot of discussions in the US on accessibility focus on how accessible structures and programs will end up saving the government money or cost much less than people imagine. But the spokesperson from the Trinidad and Tobago Department of Education is saying that the cost isn’t important because people need accessibility.
ETA: This is a scene from The House I Live In, a film on the American drug war and its effects on communities of color, education, the class disparity and the prison industrial complex. I cannot recommend this film highly enough.
"BDSM can be quite dangerous. Responsible practitioners insist it must be “safe, sane, and consensual.” But it attracts people who like to push boundaries. Some submissives are adrenaline junkies: They don’t believe in safety. Recently, several men have admitted to or have been charged with or convicted of crimes including sexual abuse, kidnapping, and murder, all under the cover of BDSM. These men don’t represent BDSM, but they do represent the far end of sadism. On BDSM sites, you’ll find harrowing fetishes such as immersion water bondage and breath play, which some community leaders consider inherently unsafe. Even a standard ball gag can kill the victim by triggering regurgitation.
Every article about BDSM now includes the obligatory professional woman who’s secure enough in her feminism to admit she likes to be flogged. It’s great that we’ve come that far, but the message is awkward. While reformers in India battle a culture of rape, Indian BDSM advocates extol the bliss of female masochism. While human rights activists denounce caning and waterboarding, BDSM lecturers teach the joys of caning and waterboarding. Abduction, slavery, humiliation, torture—everything we condemn outside the world of kink is celebrated within it.
The core ethical principle of BDSM is consent. But given the underlying dynamics—one person who wants to dominate, another who wants to be dominated—consent often blurs. BDSM attracts masochists whose boundaries can be pushed. It attracts sadists who like to push those boundaries. According to the New York Observer, “In the last year, hundreds of people have come forward to describe the abuse they’ve suffered within the scene. … The stories ranged from more benign assaults (unwanted groping) to tales of being drugged and raped.” In a survey by NCSF, more than 30 percent of BDSM participants reported that their pre-negotiated limits on violence or domination had been breached. The coalition’s spokeswoman concluded: “There is still confusion between consensual BDSM and assault.”"
‘Empty buckets’ in Henan say no to Ice Bucket Challenge
Dozens of people in the drought-hit Henan Province are protesting against the Ice Bucket Challenge, which has become a global viral trend
Armed with empty buckets, bowls and other containers, the protesters stood outside the Spring Temple Buddha in Lushan County on Friday.
The Chinese characters on their clothes read: “Henan, please say no to the Ice Bucket Challenge.”
The province is experiencing its worst drought since 1951. Nearly 19 million people have been affected by the drought.
With that in mind, protesters are calling for water to be saved and other sensible means to be used to help patients of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS).
"You’re 6’4", 240-pound Marine, and you’re injured, and you need a Marine next to you to carry you back to safety, and the Marine next to you is a 5’4" woman who weighs 115 pounds,"
in before “well most women can’t do that” because NEWS FLASH most men can’t either, that’s why it’s a highly specialized career that requires a lot of devoted training
One of my former coworkers was a very slim girl only a tad taller than me, and she was training to be a fireman, and she could lift the biggest dude on my crew like this who was around 6’5 and super bulky.One time she picked him up and ran around the crew room with him for about 5 minutes before letting him down.
Even though I haven’t exercised in over a year—if you count DDR—and I’m incredibly petite (5’0”, 100 lbs), I can carry most guys. If they’re under 200 lbs, I can run with them on my back for 5 blocks, but I can walk for a mile. Once they’re about 250, I can only walk about a block or two before my spine feels like it’s about to break. If I were in a survival situation and their life depended on it, I could go on much further, until my legs gave out.
It’s why I hate the bullshit that women are inherently weak. Nah, man. Nah.
More power to you all because I can barely lift my five year old nephew without hating myself ten minutes later….
People have done studies of the military that demonstrate that with the same training for the same length of time, both men and women can achieve the same fitness level. They can carry as much, run as far, shoot as well, you name it. The idea that women are weaker than men is a total myth, and one that that the patriarchy is desperate to make us believe. (I wish I could give you a source for this but it’s been a while since I read it)