i have been so irrationally angry lately and it’s driving me insane. i’ve been swearing at my phone because my autocorrect is fucking awful, i got angry at boyfriend the other day for trying to help me put clothes away, i just want to smash things into tiny pieces in a fit of rage. and i don’t know WHY i feel so angry. feeling angry makes me even more angry, because i don’t WANT to be angry but i don’t know how to make it go away. i think the whole thing is anxiety-related; i’ve been feeling super panicky lately and generally on-edge and again, I DON’T KNOW WHY. the fact that i don’t know why makes me even more anxious and angry and the whole thing is just fucking unbearable and i need it to go away because it’s impossible to get anything done when most of my energy is being spent on trying not to have an anxiety attack or start crying. even writing this post has made me almost boil over with rage. fucking fucking fuck.
woken up today by roofing contractors fucking around on our roof, setting up ladders, generally being GIANT FUCKING CUNTS. my boyfriend hasn’t had more than six hours sleep any night this week and these fucktards think it’s okay to come and make more noise than the fucking AFL grand final at 8AM on a fucking saturday? IT’S A FUCKING WEEKEND i am actually so angry that i want to scream, there is literally nothing i can do to make it stop, all i want to do is go back to sleep but that’s impossible and we have to go to a wedding later today so no cute afternoon naps for me! i hope they fall off the fucking roof and break their stupid, inconsiderate, selfish heads open.
so last night i had this dream that Martin Freeman and i were like, best friends or some shit, and we went to NYC together, and we got off the plane and went to this bar, where there was a girl i knew from ten years ago and some of her friends, and then Martin and i realised that we hadn’t actually collected our checked luggage when we got off the plane, so we had to go back to the airport, but then i’d forgotten to pack most of the things i needed anyway and i started freaking out and then we were just like exploring the city and i ran into a bunch of girls i know who were on a graduation trip and it was strange.
THEN i had another dream that Hobart finally got a huge shopping centre (idk maybe they filled the Myer hole or something) and i was wandering around all these shops that don’t actually exist in real life and it was strange.
My boyfriend is best man for a wedding this month and needs something to do for the buck’s night, but the groom doesn’t drink [alcohol] and none of them have any interest in strippers. Any suggestions for fun, relevant activities that he could plan?
So I’m at a party and my boyfriend, a guy I slept with once, and a good friend I hooked up with a couple times were all sitting next to each other on the couch. Bad timez.
so there are two teenagers upstairs right now, at my home, in the room right above me, and they are fooling around and possibly having sex, and i feel bad because her mother asked me to make sure this didn’t happen, but all i can think is that i hope to god they’re using protection and i’m kind of mad that they think doing this is okay in my house WHILE I AM HOME and teenagers must be really really good at having sex silently (a skill i apparently never learned) because they only ever seem to do it behind half-closed doors at odd hours of the day and i’m not a prude, really, i love sex and think it’s great that other people love sex too, but i was taken advantage of when i was fifteen and now i’m 23 and still messed up by it and i really don’t want that to happen to her.
i have my own place with the person i love, and apart from the fact that the hot water cylinder is a bit small to indulge my long-shower habit, it’s a pretty lovely house and it suits us incredibly well. we have wireless internet set up now and most of our stuff is unpacked and arranged. i am currently sitting at our dining table with a basil & lavender-scented candle burning, listening to a Van Morrison record while i wait for my pasta to cook. boyfriend will be home from work soon and we’ll probably go to sleep spooning, then wake up and have breakfast together tomorrow. things aren’t perfect, and there’s a part of me that’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but fuck i’m happy right now.
FINALLY connected to the internet at our new house, albeit with an ethernet cable. loving the new place, hating all the fucking around that comes with moving. and there’s not much parking here, which is frustrating as boyfriend and i both have cars. SIGH. life is hard.
and now to go into exam study mode for the next two weeks. fuck.
okay so i am moving house in SIX DAYS and i am very excited. HOWEVER i don’t own very much stuff and i would now like to crowdsource ideas for affordable decorating… i mean it’s definitely going to be a student house, but i don’t want it to LOOK like a student house, y’know? i’m not a very creative or arty or stylish person but i’d like my house to look nice. so if anyone has any nifty ideas for home decor - or any places to buy nice stuff, for that matter - y’all should help a lady out :)
soooooo today we went furniture shopping and we bought a second-hand couch for like $80 and a wine rack/sideboard-y thing for $150 and it was a good time except for looking at all the beautiful antique expensive furniture that we can’t have because we’re POOR IMPOVERISHED STUDENTS but then we went and ate fish and chips and it was mostly a good day i think
irrelevant things that this rental application form asks for:
- my car make and registration number
- whether or not i have any applications pending on other properties
- my marital status
- whether i’m planning to have the weekly rent deducted from my centrelink payment
- my work phone number
like ugh! go away! as if its not enough that you also require the details of my employer, my next of kin, my current landlord and TWO character references, as well as a credit check, proof of my income and photographic identification.
yes i am sorry there has been so much angry spam about housing from me lately but jesus christ this stuff is incredibly stressful and i have nowhere else to vent about it okay
hopefully by the end of this week boyfriend and i will have somewhere to live! fingers crossed!
we are already talking about getting a pet rabbit because OMG BUNNIES but idk i think we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves. like i just want to make it through exams without failing anything but also i guess it is nice to plan things for the future (because god knows the present sucks hard).
just had a look through all the photos of me tagged on facebook… pretty sure i’ve actually gotten uglier over the past four years :/
Recipe for delicious vegetarian chilli
Things you’ll need:
- a big saucepan, soup/stew pot or stockpot; with lid
- some vegetable oil
- 1 large brown onion (or 2 small)
- 1 large red onion
- 1 cup of dried red lentils
- 1 cup of beef stock (or vegetable stock depending on preference)
- 1tsp ground cumin
- 1tsp chili powder
- 2 tsp dried oregano
- 1 large (or 2 regular sized) tins of diced tomatoes
- 2 tins of kidney beans
- 1 large sweet potato
Chop the brown onion. Throw it into the pot where you’ve got some oil over a medium heat. While the brown onion softens, chop the red onion, then throw that in the pot. Stir it around a bit so it doesn’t burn, and once all the onion is soft, remove the pot from the heat for a moment and throw in the red lentils. Stir it all up so the lentils are nicely coated in the oniony oil. Leave it to sit for a minute (still off the heat) while you throw in the stock. (I used a beef stock cube and a cup of lukewarm water; any kind of stock would work equally well.) Then add the chili powder, cumin and oregano and mix it up. Depending on how wet the mixture is, you can put in a little bit of the diced tomato just to make mixing easier. Then you want to put the lid on the pot and let it hang out over low-medium heat for five-ten minutes. In this time you can peel and dice the sweet potato. When the flavours from the spices and the stock are all nice and mixed in and the lentils have absorbed some of the liquid, throw in the remaining diced tomatoes and the sweet potato. Now, with the kidney beans, you want to drain off about three-quarters of the liquid that’s in the tins, but don’t get rid of ALL of it. You wanna throw some of that liquid into the pot with the beans. Once you’ve got all of the ingredients in the pot, give it a good mix, pop the lid back on and leave it to hang out over low-medium heat for about half an hour. Make sure to stir occasionally so that it doesn’t burn to the bottom of the pan. You can tell when it’s ready by checking to see whether the sweet potato bits are cooked all the way through. Depending on how wet you like your chili, you can take the lid off for the last 5-10 minutes of cooking to let some of the liquid evaporate off. Tastes delicious on its own, or you can have it with a slice of seedy bread. My boyfriend claims it’s quite nice with grated cheese on top. As with anything, adjust the amount of chili powder depending on what you like.
No but really, this made the best chilli I’ve ever eaten.
I just went to a People Of Letters event in Hobart (at MONA) and it was fantastic and Pinky Beecroft and Paul Dempsey spoke and afterwards boyfriend and I chatted to Marieke Hardy and oh god the whole thing was wonderful and aaaaaaah such a good decision. If ever you have a chance to go to one you should take it, they are excellent.